Thursday, June 9, 2011

Would You Call Me Cordelia?


Phil had a Saturday morning commitment a couple weeks ago, so the kids and I scooted out to Southern Belle Farms again, this time after their blackberries. Good news: Unlike wild blackberries, these farmed ones do not have thorns! Bad news: Though it had been cloudy the whole ride down, the sun came beating down mercilessly upon our backs as soon as we stepped into the field, and all the ripe berries were hiding deep inside the bushes. We had to bag our original plan of picking 2 giant buckets. Instead we knelt on sweaty knees and cursed the one bottomless bucket that haunted us row after row.

But the kids were great and we really did have fun. Especially after we were back in the shade with icees in hand, a bucket of fat berries waiting for us in the car.



One of my rules for myself as a mother is to try hard not to pass on any of my neuroses to my children. It seems only fair that they get to pick out their own. The area where I've felt this most keenly is with the bugs. More specifically, with the giant, horrible roaches that occasionally get in the house. I realize that they are the trade-off for not living in the ridiculous frozen tundra of the north where no man (or bug) was ever meant to inhabit, but it doesn't mean I can't be very, very scared of them.

So a few mornings ago I was getting Elsbeth up and a roach went tromping through her bathroom like a big, fat, dirty, hairy old man in smelly slippers and a mustard-encrusted bathrobe with a limp cigarette hanging out of his mouth tromping through a cute little girl's bathroom. I quickly ran my Nibblet down the stairs and got her set up with her cereal, then slowly climbed the stairs again armed with an old Real Simple magazine. (No Raid on the premises, and though I was sorely tempted to do my whole "bowl over the bug until Phil gets home" thing, I was afraid it would get out, hide in a toy bin, then come out at night and chew on my daughter's feet.) Andrew was right on my heels, very excited. I said something to him to the effect of, "OK, so there's a big bug up here that we need to get, and Mommy might scream a little bit because it's freaks her out, but I want you to know that it's just a bug and it cannot hurt you. There is no reason whatsoever to be afraid of these things. They're just kind of gross and sometimes Mommy is a little silly about them."


At first we couldn't find it and Andrew was devastated, but after some timid searching, the monster waddled out from beside Elsbeth's crib. I threw the magazine on top of it, but I knew that wouldn't be enough to end the beast.

"Now I'm going to jump on top of the magazine and I'm going to have to scream while I do it, but I'm totally fine, OK?"

So I did it and yelled and did a spastic tippy-toe dance all over roachzilla's face, then I had to run back downstairs to check on Els and decompress after all the stress. Andrew was mesmerized by the scene and didn't seem to be at all traumatized. In fact, after Phil flatly refused to come home and clean it up (rat fink), I paid Andrew in candy to do it. And he handled the situation valiantly. Who says high fructose corn syrup on a stick at 9am is a bad idea? Morons, that's who.




When not discarding large insect carcasses, The Precious can be found playing Yahtzee, his new passion. I just love hearing him say, "Hmmmm, 2 fours and 2 twos ... I think I'll go for a full house." So cute. Tonight before bed he requested I pray that Jesus let him have a bird for a friend in heaven and stated matter-of-factly that he would have to teach it how to play Yahtzee. "He'll have to use his beak to pour the dice out of the cup," he tells me.



This year our church has planted a community garden right next to the playground. All the produce goes to a local ministry that helps families in need - pretty neat. There isn't a whole lot of outreach going on in my world these days, but the kids and I do love to play with a water hose on a hot day, so we're in charge of Monday watering.



I think it's going to be very educational for me. Andrew really wanted to plant something in our yard early this spring, so we let him pick out a few packets of seeds and Phil tilled up a little spot. Take a look at our awesome vegetable garden!


What do you mean you don't see it? Back there, behind the bushes in that shady grove under the giant oak.


In our (very weak) defense, the leaves in the trees hadn't fully grown back at the time of our planting, but yes, I am a little bit of a amateur when it comes to, you know, growing things. But I'm learning! And look at this brave little blade of a corn plant. Talk about perseverance in the face of adversity! And shade! There's so much you can learn from a garden.


8 comments:

Crazy Aunt Sallie said...

When I taught school, I always chose a boy to be the designated bug smasher for the year. :) Andrew sounds like he will be an excellent bug smasher in the years to come.

Georgia Girl said...

I L-O-V-E the bug story because I can all too well relate. I think girls are just born with a gene because Maddy freaks out anytime she sees a bug. Caleb on the other hand, well, he received a bug vacuum for his birthday! So, where do you think this story is going??!?!?!?! Should make for some bug stomping dances in the future with these siblings.

Nina said...

Andrew looks so big! Almost old enough to be the official Terminex guy. And might I add that he is quite young to be playing Yathzee. I love his plan for bird Yahtzee in heaven!

Brea said...

I'm only mildly appalled that you bribed your four year old into cleaning up smashed roach carcass. Other than that, you're a fabulous mom. :)

Unknown said...

You are SO funny. I blame you for the lack of sleep I am currently getting. My mom once had to kill a roach that was on my face in the middle of the night (it woke me up, I felt it wet on my face and thought it was mom kissing me, but NO!). I still have the blanket she used to kill it. Shiver.

Nina said...

Just reread this blog, and laughed again at the roach extermination story. I am proud of you for taking care not to pass on roachaphobia to the kids. I wish there was a video of you dancing and screaming on top of the magazine!

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on the roaches: Eek! One of the many benefits of having boys is that they are great bug killers. :-)

Kara said...

I know this post is from a while ago but I've been having fun catching up on your blog tonight and as always end up laughing :). Love the garden. We tried this year too and had some success, maybe it would have been better if we'd watered? I totally relate with the roaches! Those things are hard to kill and give me the heebie jeebies! So many in Cambodia...yuck.