Monday, September 22, 2008

All I Want To Do Is A Zoom Zoom Zoom


Here they are - the reason I named our local mall "The Booty Mall." I asked Andrew to smile and, as he is prone to do these days, he squeezed his eyes shut. I think he was trying to block it all out. Prepare yourself for my Ode To The Booty Mall.

Oh Booty Mall, oh Booty Mall, your belt buckles are so flashy.
Oh Booty Mall, oh Booty Mall, you don't require much cashy.


Alright, I won't torture you with more rhymes. Not my gift. But I'm pretty sure any of those belt buckles would make a mighty fine garnish to the booty pants.

Going out fancy? Trade in your pants for a booty dress. I don't know if you can make out the ads in the background, but they're appalling. Kind of a switch from the Disney Store that used to occupy this space back in the good old days.


This is my very favorite ad of all times. It's been hanging in one of the store windows for years.


Macy's, our classiest store, really let me down this week. Just look at what I found displayed in the middle of the first floor. LOOK AT IT! I was all confused for a second. "Hmmmm," I wondered, "I thought it was only September. Why am I wearing shorts? What the heck month is it, anyway? Where have I been? What is my name?" Then I saw Martha haunting the display and realized it must be for Halloween.


With all it's quirks, this mall is such a great spot to roam when we need to get out of the house on a rainy day. Shockingly, it's never crowded, but it's still a great place to meet a new friend. (He cried when she had to go.)


The Reactrix (floor video game thing that responds to movement) is always a big hit ... when it's working.


Our new Kohl's has wonderful sales on children's clothes and provides the best mall bathroom ever.


And in the middle of the mall is an ah-ticka-ticka that overlooks the fountain. Andrew would be thrilled just to ride this up and down for hours. There's also a Chick-Fil-A and a great sit-down restaurant called Crescent Moon. What's not to love?

9 comments:

Peamama said...

Ah, booty mall, how I miss thee. Many a memory has been made there, my favorite of which is our photo booth shots while Joseph was sleeping in the stroller outside. I don't remember that snazzy uh-ticka-ticka-ticka (did I say that right--forgive me Andrew), though. Very nice shot, by the way. So artistic.

trmills said...

We'll meet you there some rainy day, okay? My kids really need some culture; how much they've missed! There's a shocking lack of hip hop in the Far East, sadly. Never even a big car rolling by with offensive lyrics blaring...

Georgia Girl said...

The first few photos fall somewhere between slightly disturbing to are those really made for people to wear?

You must be missing your booty pants now that you've begun wearing the elastic band pants, huh? I have on an elastic pair on myself this morning.

Emily said...

Does the Booty Mall have a maternity store? Because you're going to still want to go out and you can't let pregnancy slow you down OR change your fundamental sense of style...

Peamama said...

Emily, you are so right. If there isn't one already, they should add a booty maternity. I would love to see pictures of that. We all know how important it is to show off those curves while pregnant. :) And Rhi, and I know you will find some creative way for your kids to make up their shocking lack of cruising experience (it's hard to come by here in the country, too).

Brea said...

The Booty Mall is definitely in the midst of an identity crisis, but it does have some great features, not the least of which is the Christmas/Easter train (strange how similar they looked this year), and an excellent (albeit tiny) Motherhood maternity store.

Definitely the perfect meeting spot for toddlers on foul weather days. I hope we're still going there to walk when we're 75!

Jenni said...

Emily called me FIRST thing Tuesday morning to insist that I immediately read your bootie post. I told her I had already laughed out loud from it and I suggested that it is amazing how most malls could be called a "booty" mall. She explained that this was a special mall, that even carries gold teeth, which I was then glad to finally find a resource for my love of mouth bling. I also want a picture of you taking a picture of mannequin booties.

And on the American Idol note, I completely forgot about your HUGE brush with fame (I was a big Chris fan and Emily told me all about your BFFness with him). The slight difference in our pictures is that you are embracing the contestants and in my pictures, if you look just to the right and tilt your head, you can kind of see a blond girl on a stage that might be Brooke White. I'm SO ridiculously jealous.

Anonymous said...

I'm just wondering what everyone was thinking while you were taking random pictures of manikin bootys, belt buckles, manikin ladies, and smack posters. I would have loved to have been an onlooker. I bet you are such fun to people-watch!!! hee, hee... :) I love it!

Jean Joiner said...

hilarious. another good thing about the booty mall is there is always ample parking.