Monday, February 2, 2009

Don't Mess With Me, Porkchop


That's right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's GROUNDHOG DAY! This is my darling husband's favorite holiday. He is utterly obsessed with the movie (he's probably watching it right now on his Ipod thing under the table during an important business meeting) and he eagerly anticipates this day of celebration every year. I'm still not clear on exactly what it is he's celebrating - The movie? Groundhogs in general? Silly weather predictions? - but it's a big deal. So I've decided to honor Phil on his most special day with a post all about him and a few of the reasons I love him so much. Plus, he's on yet another business trip (DC? NYC? Where are you today, Honey?) and so he can't stop me.

1. In the morning, Phil dresses in his sleek business suit, gets into his fancy businessman car with his laptop and Blackberry and Starbucks membership card ... and this, containing his lunch of frozen Stoffer's pizza and grapes:


2. He loves his cat. She's mean as the dickens and leaves hairballs and smells all over the house, and he will sit and lovingly brush her until she tries to tear his arm off. I'm pretty sure I've heard him call her "his little princess."



3. Watch this and prepare to be impressed:



4. I think he's the most honest person in existence. I never have to worry that he's hiding something from me or leading a double life with Barbie and their 12 illegitimate children somewhere.

In case you doubt me, I'll share a conversation I had with him yesterday. We had just gotten in the car after a birthday party where I saw a friend who's also pregnant with her second and who's due date is mere days from mine. She's beautiful and petite and always looks like she's just stepped out of a magazine shoot. I've been feeling really gigantic lately and wondered if, just perhaps, it was my imagination.

Me: So do you think I'm bigger than Jane?

Phil: (giving me the most incredulous look imaginable) YES, you're bigger than Jane.

Me: Oh, I just thought maybe we were the same size.

Phil: (snort!) Well, you thought erroneously.

... then, as if stating this made everything totally fine ...

Some women just gain more weight during their pregnancies than others.

Thanks, babe. *



5. He bought a beautiful new diaper bag for me for Christmas, and now this catalog gets sent to him at his office.

(I don't know why my computer is suddenly bolding things, but I can't make it stop.)


6. Because of him, I have the cutest child imaginable.


7. This is probably because he is really, really ridiculously good looking.


8. And he was an adorable toddler himself.



9. He uses words like "bicks" and "whambones" in everyday conversation like it's normal.




10. He picked me!


* For the record, I thought this conversation was hilarious. What guy responds this way? He clearly didn't read the manual. Please don't take this as a plea for everyone to post comments about how I'm not really all that big, etc. I know I'm sizable. I have moments self-consciousness (especially when I get a look at the parts of me not actually housing a baby), but then I remind myself that this is just how I grow people, and it's totally worth it.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I already loved him too, but #9 clinches it!

Phil Mobley said...

For the record, I thought #4 was a total setup - I just KNEW Christy thought she was asking a ridiculous question just to see if I'd play by the rules when I responded (which, naturally, I didn't). I guess that doesn't really make it better.

I suppose the fact that those pictures are (I hope!) the worst ever taken of me is justice served.

Emily said...

You know, I'm a Phil fan. And you're right he's really honest, so he'll totally admit that HE'S the winner who got chosen. Plus, he's right that you have your justice with some of the pictures, which brought delight to my soul. Happy Groundhogs Day, Mobley family.

Anonymous said...

As always, I'm laughing out loud. Thanks, Christy!

BTW, I love your prego pics! I think you look adorable. :-)

jane said...

i'm actually still laughing histerically about the idea of me looking like i stepped off a photo shoot--ridiculous!
if it is any consolation i have stretch marks that my own mother was horrified to see- my belly was enormous by the end and certainly will be again...

Georgia Girl said...

Could it be he just really loves Sonny and Cher? I love the movie, too!
1. Love the lunch box
2. So I guess it's not him holding the knife to Cruella Deville (past post)
3. Can't watch the video - I'm at work...bummer
4. Honesty...hmmmm, may need some rethinking
5. Hilarious he gets the catalog at work! Does he read it while eating his Stouffers?
6. No doubt about it! With exception to Sparticus, of course.
7. Even better than 1997
8. I can see where Andrew gets his royal cuteness
9. We love new words, too - Sparticus is commonly referred to as a Munster-head (pronounced Moon-ster)
10. No doubt about that! (And who else would put up with #4.

Love you guys! BTW, I'm MUCH BIGGER than you my darling.

trmills said...

This made me so happy. I love the Mobleys.

Heather Iverson said...

Laughing out loud right now!

Anonymous said...

I had to come out of lurkdom and comment as this post was so hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh out loud today!!!

Liz Davenport

Unknown said...

You are so sweet :) And so is he. So glad you all are together.

Jenni said...

Even though I've never met Phil, I adore him (in a very appropriate way) and I feel that Seth and Phil will quickly become BFFs when they meet. Seth has the honest gene as well, but he has learned the fine art of skirting my body image questions with just saying, "You're gorgeous!" over and over and over (take the tip, Phil)and I don't know why, but it works for me. And, for the record, I'm much bigger than you and we are just waiting for a baby to show up on our doorstep. Does Phil's fancy job include a jet that would travel to our area so we can play Quelf, which is now sitting in our game cabinet, unopened?

nannykim said...

Yes, you gotta be thankful to have such a sweet coooool dude!! Love the lunch box!