Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I Am Disinclined To Acquiesce To Your Request. Means "No."

My darling Precious turned 10 months old yesterday, and in celebration we took him to get a polio vaccine. Something seems wrong about purposefully taking my baby to a place where I know they're going to jab him with a sharp bit of metal - then paying them for doing it - but I keep reminding myself that having a baby whose legs work is a pretty fabulous thing. I do really love our pediatric office and it had been quite a while since we'd gotten some stats, so that part was great. Andrew is now 28.5 in. long and weighs in at 19 lb. 10 oz. This is 55th percentile for height and only 25th percentile for weight - can you belive that? Look at those cheeks! Makes you wonder where the 95th percentile babies put it.

We have been having so much fun since the summery weather hit. The picture at the top and just below are from a day of baby pool fun with Skeezix*, Thelma* and Louise*. You can see Skeezix coming to help Andrew lean over the side of the pool and splash, their favorite thing.

Precious enjoyed it all so much that I ran out the very next day to buy a pool for our house. Unfortunately, our yard slopes downward quite a bit, so I put the pool on our deck, because, really, our deck wasn't redneck enough. (see below) Yes, those are cloth diapers drying on the line behind him. I'm just disappointed you can't see that there are actually two grills out there - the one you can see is badly rusted and turns raw meat to ash in about 8 seconds.

Funny story: My Aunt, Pittsburg Auntie we'll call her, came to visit a few months ago and was sitting in the kitchen gazing out onto our deck thoughtfully. (Important notes - there were no diapers hanging out at this time, just the line, and there is a sliding glass door that leads from the kitchen to the deck.) Suddenly, her face brightened and she turned to me and said in all sincerity, "Oh! Is that rope set up out there to keep the grills from blowing into the glass door when it gets windy?" I have had many a hardy laugh at the mental image of that bit of string holding back our two large grills during the violent wind storms that apparently whip through the metro Atlanta area on a regular basis. I also enjoy the thought of me saying to Phil in a bored voice, "Honey, your grill smashed through the sliding glass door again. Better grab the string." I simply adore Pittsburg Auntie.

Below are some fun shots from our outside play time yesterday afternoon.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

Thursday, May 24, 2007


(Adopting friends update at bottom)

I'm so much more of a paranoid mommy than I ever thought I'd be. One evening not long ago, after Precious had hit the hay, I was overcome with the desire to check on him "just in case someone had come in the front door and stolen him from his crib." I honestly don't remember why that idea had even entered my head - we had been inside the entire time and it's not all that common for thugs to enter our home uninvited and run off with the people inside. Phil let me check on him, though I don't think his eyes could have rolled further back in his head, and believe it or not, Andrew was sleeping peacefully.

Earlier this week, I heard my Sweet Scooter waking up from his morning nap. After giving him a few minutes to come to, I went up to his room to get him, and when I opened the door, I heard this really loud crinkly sound coming from the crib. Being that the only things other than baby that I put in there are a couple of stuffed animals, I was confused. I peaked over the edge of the crib and my heart stopped for a moment. There sat my darling little boy happily playing with A HUGE BLACK TRASH BAG!!! My heart soon re-engaged as, clearly, Andrew was just fine ... but what the heck?! I don't even own black trash bags! Then I realized that that bag had been used to cover a chest of drawers that Nannie (Phil's mom) had brought to us this past weekend. Phil had moved it about 6 inches from the foot of his crib the night before, and neither of us had noticed that the black bag was sitting folded on top. So I'm afraid of phantom kidnappers strolling into my home, but apparently don't have any problem placing large suffocation devices within easy reach of the crib. I wonder what Kroger Lady would think of me now?

And now, to distract you before you can locate the number for social services, I invite you to watch TCBITW trying watermelon for the first time. (If I was skilled in the ways of blog videos, I would shorten the first video and combine the two ... I shall be in touch with Eowyn Wan and ask again to be her Padawan Learner.)

Thank you all so much for your prayers for my friends who are adopting the little boy, and I'm so sorry for such a late update. The birth mother ended up revoking her consent to let the baby be adopted, then changed her mind again and re-signed the consent paperwork this past Friday. She's given 10 business days in which to change her mind again - extremely nerve wracking considering what's happened - so please continue to pray that all will go well. Because of weekends and holidays, the adoption isn't official until the afternoon of June 4th.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

There Are Two Things In This World That I Hate: People Who Are Intolerant Of Other Peoples' Cultures, And The Dutch

I'm in a bit of a mood today. First off, my Precious and I have colds. Blast! Second off - and on a much more serious note - dear friends of mine adopted a little boy recently. Took him home from the hospital a month ago. Now the birth mother is reconsidering allowing the adoption to go through. The thought is simply unbearable. There is a chance that all of this will be taken care of in a good way - adoption finalized, baby happily and forever at home with my friends - by this weekend. Please pray that this will be the case.

And now, in a flagrant attempt to fuel my depression, I've decided to list

Things I Loathe & Despise

  • Scrubbing the tub
  • Acne
  • Knowing my baby feels rotten

  • Underpants so tall I could wear them as an entire outfit

  • Terrorists

  • When I'm in the shower and the cat whips around and stares angrily towards the door making me quite certain that a murderer or ghost is going to come barreling through the bathroom at any moment

  • Mariah Carey's song "Hero"

  • Stepping on a wet spot in the carpet while wearing socks

  • Seeing the dog with a guilty expression on his face a few feet away from aforementioned wet spot
  • Justin Timberlake (what a man skank!)

Now I shall move on to

Things That Really Burn My Bacon

  • Recipes that call for 1/57th of a teaspoon of some expensive spice that I would never otherwise use, then the whole thing tastes like goat fanny

  • When you're trying to turn left and someone takes an inordinately long time to walk across the street in front of you ... on purpose ... just to burn your bacon

  • The fact that all houseplants take one look at me and commit suicide

  • When I really want Phil to smell something and he won't
  • Those ridiculous church signs that say things like "God answers knee-mail"

And finally,

Things That Sort Of Bug Me

  • The phrase " to love on" (as in, "those circus freaks look a little sad after eating that wheel barrow ... perhaps we should go love on them for a while and make them feel better")

  • When I've got a huge order of groceries (and thus have been in the store for hours and am dying to get home) and someone comes up behind me with, like, a Coke and some Ring Dings, and then I have to let them go ahead of me or else be plagued with guilt for the rest of the day

  • When I go into Wolf Camera and need a particular computer to order a print (something that would take me 2 minutes) and Grannie McGrannie is sitting there looking through all her Christmas photos from the last 7 years
  • Wanting a brownie more than anything in the world and not getting one
  • The idea of people "claiming" Bible verses (Maybe I like that verse, too. Whatcha gonna do about it?)

Despite all my efforts, I don't think I'll be able to keep the bad mood alive for long being that I am the keeper of TCBITW. Don't you love the manly crown of flowers I made for him at the park while Dad was looking the other way?

Thursday, May 3, 2007

I Got Ice Capades. I Know A Guy.

Well, Sallie and David are happily married and currently soaking up some rays in Jamaica, and we're settling back into our little routine here at the house. Isn't my boy so thoughtful to help his old mom with the laundry?

Some personal highlights from the weekend:
  • Searching unsuccessfully for my camera for 20 minutes before leaving
  • Going the wrong way on I-20 for miles because the eastbound exit was closed
  • Getting stuck in awful traffic in Augusta with not a shred of evidence as to why (when you come to a standstill on the interstate, you want to see billowing smoke or a herd of escaped turkeys or something)
  • Dropping scalloped potatoes down the front of my dress at the rehearsal dinner
  • Having Uncle Ron see me drop scalloped potatoes down the front of my dress at the rehearsal dinner
  • Seeing Sallie and David look so incredibly beautiful and happy together
  • Getting my make-up done by a thinner, less menacing version of Ursula the Sea Witch
  • Listening to Chris Sligh and Jessie Mobley sing an incredible duet during the ceremony
  • Beaming with pride when Andrew grinned up a storm for pictures, as though I had something to do with it
  • Having my mother ask me if the lyrics to a song Chris sang at the reception included the phrase "devil spawn" (the phrase in question was actually "since the day I was born")
  • Consuming some of the best potatoes ever mashed
  • Watching my mom jump into the bride & groom's waiting limo just to see what it was like inside
  • Watching my mom lay down on one of the seats inside the limo in order to get the full experience
  • Having my mother proclaim that the limo smelled like sun tan lotion
  • Watching the limo driver glare at my mother
  • Trying to catch the bride & groom on fire with sparklers as they exited the reception building
  • Watching the limo driver glare at all of us for burning holes in his red carpet
  • Snarfing extra wedding cake when no one was looking
  • Watching Andrew scoot around at the edge of a lake in Phil's family's neighborhood (He loved it! The beach is going to be a blast this summer!)
  • Finding the camera (once back at home) in the front pocket of a toy bag we'd had with us the entire time

I took another video yesterday with my newly discovered camera. I'm afraid a monster has been created. I turned the camera part the way through, so you'll have to tilt your head (sorry), but be sure not to miss Precious sticking out his tongue at the end in his effort to grab the recording device.